Sunday, October 4, 2009
The United States of Zod
THE NEW CONSTITUTION
Congress shall make no law. It is General Zod who gives orders.
A well-regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, no longer has a purpose.
No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the consent of the owner, who shall decide "yes, in the name of General Zod."
The right of the people to be secure in the persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated. If my administration has a need to search your belongings, it is reasonable, is it not?
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous, crime, except to General Zod.
The accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial in a proper kangaroo court.
In suits at common law, where the value in controversy is significant, the property shall be bequeathed to the state in tribute to General Zod.
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishment inflicted, unless by the new government.
The enumeration in the constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage those that serve General Zod.
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution rest with General Zod.